By Took Edalow
Photos by Paul DeRienzo
( YouTube.com/letemtalk )
The other night the Gentleman Scumbag John Murdock and I invited all of our friends, and various strangers to our wedding and comedy/burlesque/performance art show.
Marriage is a traditional act. Hetero-monogamous men and women have been getting married for hundreds of years. This is seen by many as the ultimate act of love. Marriage is the way one validates their love for another person in this society. Many of us can agree love is important, beautiful and meant to be celebrated.
However, it is only recently that non-heterosexual monogamous marriage has become legal… in America. Thats kind of the weird part about it, isn’t it? That what constitutes marriage, the traditional act of ultimate love is decided by the fucking Government? What does the Government as an entity understand about love? All we do in politics is fight with each other and talk over each other. The point is that its awful that marriage has become so institutionalized and become associated with monetary agreements. And why the fuck is the Government listening to religion on what constitutes worthy love?
And what about Polyamorous lovers? People who love more than one person? The Christian Influenced monogamous heterosexual blah blah blah love is limiting. It takes away autonomy in a partnership. When people get married there is talk of “two people becoming one” and “leaving their lives to be with one another.” Why must independence be taken away when one falls in love?
Why is love viewed as a sacrifice? Why is love made into a burden? Why do we force narrow definitions on love? Do we fear we may not be loved? Does it come from fear that we do this and not love?
John Murdock and I are very much in love. We know we want to be together for the time being and hopefully for many years, but we are non-monogamous. We are non-religious. We may be man and woman (maybe?), but we are not heterosexual. Where is the celebration of love for us? Why must we go into the religious and institutionalized boxes to validate our love in this society?
Why is marriage so encouraged? We push people into marriage and encourage them so fiercely that marriage is the only way, that we must have a partner of the opposite sex and we must have children. We insist on people having children, yet people don’t want children around. We have yet to acknowledge that we do not accept families and the natural tendencies of children very often. The point is we do not always live in an inclusive society. Our traditions are a mess.
But, love each other. You define it.
I will write more on my wedding experience