Its about how people deal with the subject of rape in real life after people have gotten off stage. After people have finished goofing around and not being serious. If you have not read my last post read it to understand the context.
When you make jokes about subjects that have traumatized many people sometimes people will have not so ideal reactions to your humor. This is what happens to me when I hear people make jokes about rape. I get angry and sad and in my head I become the defense for myself and many of the people I know and don’t know who have been victims of sexual abuse.
THIS. IS. NOT. ABOUT. CENSORSHIP. God fucking dammit. Predictably people who are responding to this post directly to me or hint to it in podcasts where they trash armpit hair for women and not for men (equality exists. sure.) are being like “oh feminists and stupid chicks with blogs want us to stop making rape jokes. They want to censor us! Anything can be funny.. BITCH. Anything can be funny. CUNT.”
Many people probably wish I would just be like “stop making rape jokes”, but that is not the point I am trying to get through to people.
My point is: If you are going to make jokes about rape on stage and people have strong reactions to it BECAUSE SOME FUCKED UP SHIT PROBABLY HAPPENED TO THEM and they ADMIT to you they probably overreacted due to some shit in the past. Why the hell would you keep mocking them?
What pisses me off is not that dudes want to make rape jokes. I do find it boring, unoriginal, old fashion, and kind of just lame, but I’m not going to say stop doing it. AGAIN NOT TRYING TO CENSOR.
What pisses me off is people are saying “its a joke. Its just a joke!” If it is JUST a joke then when you get off stage you understand the seriousness of the matter? Correct? If victims of the acts you joke about get upset why is that something to be mocked? The person who actually made the jokes I originally wrote about did not mock me, but the folks in his mostly male community did. Doesn’t this just prove they see victims of sexual abuse as a joke all the time? I am being framed as a whiny little brat for having an emotional reaction about a topic that is very traumatizing. This proves that when you make jokes that sympathize with the rapist rather than the victims (i.e Bill Cosbys still a great comic!) this perpetuates the cultural attitude around rape victims.. which is to minimize their experience.
Keep making your jokes if you want. Just think about how you deal with certain topics when you’re not making jokes about it.
In fact I like some rape jokes. I prefer ones that mock the rapists and make good points for victims. Check out Amy Schumers Football Town Nights Its funny as shit, insightful and actually kind of made me tear up through my laughter towards the end. Like could you imagine if we taught consent culture in schools?
A lot of people are saying, oh this stupid facebook activist…
The truth is I have done workshops and things around Consent Culture when I lived with a group of Egalitarian activists people who actively opposed Monsanto and did lots of other groovy things. Consent Culture is a response to the Rape Culture, where victims experiences are minimized.
Consent culture is a culture in which asking forconsent is normalized and condoned in popularculture. It is respecting the person’s response even if it isn’t the response you had hoped for. We will live in a consent culture when we no longer objectify people and we value them as human beings.
I wish we taught kid consent in school from a young age. Start with the basics, move on to the sexual aspect by the time kids are old enough to be given sexual education.. which should be WAY earlier than it is.
Besides the sex aspect of sexual education I believe kids should be taught extensively about how to respect their own bodies and other peoples. Kids are told now “Don’t hit” and they are left with the “but why?” There has got to be exercises, workshops, games, etc that can teach small children about why you should not lay hands on another persons body if they do not want you to. Another issue I see is that a lot of people do not know how to speak up when people are touching them in a way they do not like. Teach kids that if they don’t like how they’re are being touched it is completely valid to speak up and say “no”.
CONSENT CULTURE. YES.
PS: Armpit hair for men and not for women? Seriously are you from the fucking 50’s?