Jesus Impersonator’s, Siddhartha’s Reincarnate, and The American Epidemic of Chosen Oneism

In my somewhat short amount of time on top of our sphere I have stumbled upon many-a folk who seem to think they are Jesus. If you are the sort of person who enjoys spending time with people who seem do not rank high on our countries economic food chain, then chances are you have met a person or two who believes they are Jesus. Hell, even if you are actively avoiding such folks (I highly recommend not doing so.) you have probably stumbled into a ho-bum rambling about his struggles as the messiah. You’ve seen ’em, especially if you live in a place like New York Shitty. I grew up there and it was common to see dudes get on the subway screaming shit like  ” I DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOW THAT I’M BACK WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES”. I encountered this one guy multiple times who enjoyed hollering ” I CAN SEE NO EVIL!”, all while covering his face with a red binder. When such events take place people hold their kids hands a bit tighter, they try to keep their eyes down, focusing on their electronic I-brainwash flavor of the week. Some people, usually the tourists, get off the fucking train. This is the most basic, familiar form of “Chosen- Oneism” as I like to call it.

Chosen-Oneism is a condition where a person seems to believe they are the Messiah, spiritually superior in someway. From my experience, this disease of spiritual narcissism has infected significant numbers of my generation. The most dangerous thing about this condition is that many characters who would fit into my diagnosis are not as obviously batshit as our friend the Jesus Ho-Bum. They will appear a bit saner. A bit- thats a key-term. These motherfuckers I would say are less capable “charismatic leaders”. I.e Charles Manson-types. In fact, another fitting title would be Charles Manson Posers.

Zoom- In on Mason Posers thirty dollar mala they bought from some Indian dude on the street. Be sure to hang onto every word of the story about how he got the necklace or he’ll just keep repeating that story. The shopkeeper listened to his views on Shiva and gave him the mala for free, without him even having to ask! Telepathy is one of his skills. He developed it when he studied with the Shamans. Now he has Ph.D in Shamanism. This sort of person will spew all kinds of hippie jibber-japper: “We are one.” “I love you all, every single one of you” “Can I smoke your weed, mannnnnn?”.  In my travels I have met many-a Prophet wannabes. I guarantee he spent money he conned someone else out of on the mala. He will also try to convince you that your perspective is wrong and that he can help you.  According to him, you are far too integrated with the rest of society to understand.  If you listen to him you might start to get it,  but suck his dick first. They will also tell you all about how incredibly unique their ego-death was.

These colorful characters are all over the place! This is what psychedelics have done to the Facebook generation. If you contemplate how culture becomes culture or if you read at all you’ve probably noticed that we live in a pretty self-congratulatory society. Facebook is the ultimate gift to the ego. What I am doing right now is basically mental masturbation. Tweeting, blogging, all that shit is self- indulgent. This is a recent thing. The Hare Krishna beads and feathers folks of the 60’s didn’t have a blog where they could post about every single time they took a shit. They just had “free love” to feed their ego, a underdeveloped concept of polyamory- more drama-inducing blowjobs. If two chicks feather-toting ladies argue who is going to blow you next during an acid trip that is bound to either frighten a fellow or give him an ego boost. Imagine if he could’ve tweeted about it!

An ex- boyfriend of mine used to love to talk about how he was the reincarnation of Siddhartha Gautama. He was all pissy when I laughed at him. I do admit this was invalidating, especially when he went into his whole “we are one, so we are all reincarnates of Siddhartha.” However, it is hard to listen to such a thing when you are consistently hearing conflicting views. That is the most blatant symptom of Chosen-Oneism, super duper conflicting views . Super ignorant on the spiritual subjects they claim the be experts on. They went to the Temple of Wikipedia and became experts at skimming for trendy symbols. 

I have many-a tales that involve chosenoneistic characters. I will share in later posts.


About coloredstatic

@2kedalow Alien, Manipulator of Color and fields of vision, Merperson, Pixie with some giants blood, Neverland Travel Agent.
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One Response to Jesus Impersonator’s, Siddhartha’s Reincarnate, and The American Epidemic of Chosen Oneism

  1. Pingback: The Media and Psychology Of Chosen Oneism | The Complexity of Colored Static

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